I can't argue with you, not this time. Think that toothy grin gets her all the forgiveness, though.
Yeah that's an entirely separate issue to wrap my brain around and probably talk out with more than just you, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. And I'll be sure to snatch up the fullest box for the both of us just in case, but maybe neither one of us will need it we could have a smooth run? Other than the price that is.
Have you thought about finding your surrogate yourself?
Those big blue Disney eyes make a nice backup plan, too. Cute little shit.
Oh, I'm going to need it when I get the bill, Laura.
I have, yeah, but I think I'm probably only close enough with a few people here to feel comfortable asking, and two of them are in high school, so...you know. Not appropriate. Plus, I don't know if I'd want to put any of my female friends through the pressure of that, you know? There's all the IVF and then knowing that whether it takes or not; whether it develops to term or not, I'm still paying. I'd feel bad asking any of my friends to take that on, you know what I mean?
That and I can't name a single one of them that I think wouldn't want to deck me for all the hovering I'm positive I'd be doing if I had that sort of access to the surrogate. Actually, the term they use now is Gestational Carrier, I think. Surrogate is only if the same woman carries and donates the egg.
Why, you know somebody who would be interested in putting their bodies through all that for somebody else's benefit? I'm all ears. I can afford whatever, but it's obviously preferable not to have to go overboard with spending before the baby's even born.
I don't even want to stress myself about that part yet, but I'm sure it'll make my stomach turn. And I'll have to talk it out with Derek either way as I figure out the financial dies of how I would even do this. So I'll keep the Kleenex at the ready no worries.
That's fair and I get what you mean- I haven't even dove fully into the whole sperm donor thing as of yet, so that's going to be an entirely other can of worms to make a decision on. I think I'm remembering why I was in limbo and making no moves on all of this again now that I say that, actually.
I wish I could say I knew someone who might be willing but I don't, I'm literally the only person I think is even remotely interested in putting their body through any of this and it's because I am tired of waiting to make things happen in my life. Not the way I ever thought I might be considering doing this, but wasting this second chance I've got just seems wrong. And even though I'd love to offer to help you out I'm not sure I could do it and then step away, Eddie, to be perfectly honest.
Honestly, I'm not even sure I won't need a sperm donor, too. I have no idea if I'm even able to have kids. My wife and I tried for years before giving up. Let's hope to God it was her even though I'm pretty sure it was me.
Yeah, I know the feeling. No, no, no. I'd never ask you to, that would be crazy, especially since you're also trying to conceive. It's all right, I was planning on needing a surrogate rather than a gestational carrier.
Well let's start with one thing at a time - both of us will get tested and then we'll go from there. And if you wanna talk anything through along the way I'm here and hopefully vice versa. I can't speak for what was going on back home but you know how weird things are here.
I'd offer, though, if I thought I could handle it, but family and pack and carrying a kid feel very tied in to me. I'm self aware enough to know that, though. And, hey, maybe we can help one another look through options I know I'm going to need a second brain for it.
Yeah, that's my first step after the consultation. That and information gathering. At least if we can get appointments close together, we can share information on top of everything else.
I know you would, I believe you. I'm going to need as many brains as I can manage to get, so yeah, absolutely.
Oh hey...you know, if we both test fertile, maybe we can save each other at least the search for egg and sperm and just borrow from each other, in a pinch. You know, if we get too frustrated with the search.
Exactly so it really is a great idea on your part for multiple reasons.
Same - and I feel like this is sort of the thing that I don't have many other people around that I'd want to bounce it against, but you get it a little bit more. I'm not sure how Derek is going to look at any of this at all, to be frank.
That could be a great idea, honestly. The only thing that might make you steer clear of having that as a backup is that I am a werewolf - no idea how you feel about an added factor, but feel like I have to at least remind you in case it's a really unwanted complication. I know things are weird enough here as it is.
You haven't talked to your brother about it, yet? Is he going to shit a brick?
What would that mean for the kid, exactly? I mean, I don't know how all of that stuff works for you and whatnot. I don't think we've ever talked about it.
Not yet, no, but I don't think he'll shit a brick just be surprised, I think. I lean on him a lot as my beta but there are some things that I guess I just am a little more hesitant to share with him and talk about on occasion.
I don't think we have either. It'd mean that growing up the kid would need to learn to control themselves during the moon and to be sure that they can keep their anger in check. Better speed, strength, senses - that sort of thing - to just do a quick rundown. My particular family line has the ability to shift completely into a wolf too which would be down the line, but you did ask.
It is a bit, but he's pack and it would impact him so I can't leave him out entirely.
You can - we have some exercises and things to practice - plus raising a kid in an emotionally healthy way goes a long way. And for all of the things we have to practice to be sure we're in control we never get sick and we have healing abilities.
Well, no, of course not. I'm just saying, I can understand why you'd hesitate.
I meant would it be safe for me to help them with that? What do you mean you never get sick and have healing abilities? How do you not get sick? Are you being hyperbolic?
It's one of the few things I hesitate to talk with him about honestly.
More than likely yes, it depends on what works for the werewolf when we get there, of course. My mom started that work with me really early and I think if we did the same, in theory, that control would come quickly. And I'm not being hyperbolic - we can't get sick because our healing is too quick for it to set in, just like most cuts bruises and that sort of thing. Can't get drunk or high either because of it mixed with our metabolism but it's a fair trade-off in general.
I think Derek would be an amazing uncle, honestly. Before we lost everyone in the fire we always had family around.
I'm not kidding you - I never know how people are really going to feel about what I am for sure, you know? But it is sort of ideal you'd never have to worry about an unhealthy kid.
You do realize that I'm a huge germophobe and I think it'd be accurate to call me a hypochondriac. Not having to worry about that sort of thing would be fucking incredible, I gotta be honest. Must be nice!
Honestly? I think I've been in my head and I tend not to loop Derek in until I've damn near made my mind up or am ready to make a move on things. It's getting to that point now, though.
And here I thought you'd made some headway in that department. You'd never have to worry about that with a werewolf kid, just all of the other things, but like I said we can help with that. We're kinda in this boat together already headed down this road anyway - I'm sure there will be other things that'll come up where we lean on one another too. Consider this an official offer to help you with at least the egg, though.
I would do that - especially if it helps give you a peace of mind about germs and a tiny human being safe in this big bad world. Parenting and kids are hard enough without the added BS anyway, so this'll just be one less thing to add to your pile, Eddie.
You're the kind of friend that goes above and beyond, huh? Thank you so much, seriously. If the tests show that my swimmers are still in good shape and my age doesn't create any issues around it, or it wouldn't be weird for you or whatever, you're welcome to use me as your donor if that'd save you some hassle and/or money.
That's the fucking least I could do because I can tell you right now, getting egg donations is way the fuck more expensive than sperm donations, so I owe you big for that offer.
Oh but uh don't feel like you'd be obligated to take me up on it or anything. I don't know what you're looking for in a donor, and it wouldn't hurt my feelings if I didn't fit the criteria, or whatever, okay?
I don't know if that needed to be said but peace of mind and all.
Now why'd you have to go and ruin a very nice, heartfelt offer with a kneejerk dismissal like that? I know I'm not obligated, Eddie and I'm pretty positive there's nothing on my criteria list that you'd just not tick. The added bonus of you would be access to ask you any questions after the fact if I ever needed.
So it's a kind offer and I'm already pretty seriously considering it, no second-guessing or reassurances on being turned down needed. And, yeah, I am an above and beyond kinda gal.
It also strikes me that there's another option here that we could consider. It's expensive either way and we're doing this alongside one another support system style anyway. But given both of our generous offers, we could also look at the option of doing this as co-parents given I'm going to need to be around to help you with a werewolf kid, and I'm sure I'd come up with some question along the way for you that I forget in the beginning of the process.
I didn't mean it to be kind of a dismissal, I just know that some people are looking for something really specific in their donors like specific hair color, eye color, body type, ethnic background, health history, etc. I didn't know if you had something specific in mind...my sperm wouldn't do you any good if you wanted a blonde baby or a mixed race one, or one that could grow up and invent the cure for cancer or something. That's all I meant, and if that was the case, I didn't want you to feel guilty turning me down. That probably would've come across more accurately in person or on a video, but oh well. Sorry about that.
You know, someday if you find the right person to marry, you're going to make a really fucking lucky man or woman out of them, you know that? You're kind of amazing and I count myself pretty fucking fortunate to be able to call you my friend, Laura. Thank you. A million times, thank you.
How do you mean as co-parents? I don't think I follow, I thought that was kind of the idea, like...you'd help me with the werewolf parts, I can answer any questions you might have along the way (although, I think your genes are going to trump any bumps in the road mine would bring, with that healing thing), and our kids kinda grow up together and we lean on each other as needed since we'd be going through the process at the same time. No? I feel like I'm missing something?
Genuinely all I want is a happy and healthy kid and the second part is a guarantee - the rest is all up in the air and not up to me and I'm pretty happy to leave it up in the air. I don't really feel the need to shop around either if you're healthy and this could pan out - no guilt involved, promise, but I get you. It was my get out of offer free card if I needed it.
And stop you're going to make me blush over here. That's really sweet, Eddie - don't know what's in the cards for me but I appreciate that. You're none too fucking happy when it comes to friendship yourself, you know? So thank you too because all of this - talking this out with you - has been a pretty fucking big help.
I mean that instead of two kids we share one - it'd solve you finding a surrogate or gestational carrier, you definitely wouldn't be dealing with having to find one or a stranger, and it keeps the same support system that we were already planning on having, basically. We'd have someone each to parent with/alongside if we considered this option and we'd split time, which isn't too hard considering we literally live in the same apartment building etc. Again - it's just laying an option out there, but it could work in theory.
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Yeah that's an entirely separate issue to wrap my brain around and probably talk out with more than just you, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. And I'll be sure to snatch up the fullest box for the both of us just in case, but maybe neither one of us will need it we could have a smooth run? Other than the price that is.
Have you thought about finding your surrogate yourself?
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Oh, I'm going to need it when I get the bill, Laura.
I have, yeah, but I think I'm probably only close enough with a few people here to feel comfortable asking, and two of them are in high school, so...you know. Not appropriate. Plus, I don't know if I'd want to put any of my female friends through the pressure of that, you know? There's all the IVF and then knowing that whether it takes or not; whether it develops to term or not, I'm still paying. I'd feel bad asking any of my friends to take that on, you know what I mean?
That and I can't name a single one of them that I think wouldn't want to deck me for all the hovering I'm positive I'd be doing if I had that sort of access to the surrogate. Actually, the term they use now is Gestational Carrier, I think. Surrogate is only if the same woman carries and donates the egg.
Why, you know somebody who would be interested in putting their bodies through all that for somebody else's benefit? I'm all ears. I can afford whatever, but it's obviously preferable not to have to go overboard with spending before the baby's even born.
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I don't even want to stress myself about that part yet, but I'm sure it'll make my stomach turn. And I'll have to talk it out with Derek either way as I figure out the financial dies of how I would even do this. So I'll keep the Kleenex at the ready no worries.
That's fair and I get what you mean- I haven't even dove fully into the whole sperm donor thing as of yet, so that's going to be an entirely other can of worms to make a decision on. I think I'm remembering why I was in limbo and making no moves on all of this again now that I say that, actually.
I wish I could say I knew someone who might be willing but I don't, I'm literally the only person I think is even remotely interested in putting their body through any of this and it's because I am tired of waiting to make things happen in my life. Not the way I ever thought I might be considering doing this, but wasting this second chance I've got just seems wrong. And even though I'd love to offer to help you out I'm not sure I could do it and then step away, Eddie, to be perfectly honest.
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Honestly, I'm not even sure I won't need a sperm donor, too. I have no idea if I'm even able to have kids. My wife and I tried for years before giving up. Let's hope to God it was her even though I'm pretty sure it was me.
Yeah, I know the feeling. No, no, no. I'd never ask you to, that would be crazy, especially since you're also trying to conceive. It's all right, I was planning on needing a surrogate rather than a gestational carrier.
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I'd offer, though, if I thought I could handle it, but family and pack and carrying a kid feel very tied in to me. I'm self aware enough to know that, though. And, hey, maybe we can help one another look through options I know I'm going to need a second brain for it.
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I know you would, I believe you. I'm going to need as many brains as I can manage to get, so yeah, absolutely.
Oh hey...you know, if we both test fertile, maybe we can save each other at least the search for egg and sperm and just borrow from each other, in a pinch. You know, if we get too frustrated with the search.
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Same - and I feel like this is sort of the thing that I don't have many other people around that I'd want to bounce it against, but you get it a little bit more. I'm not sure how Derek is going to look at any of this at all, to be frank.
That could be a great idea, honestly. The only thing that might make you steer clear of having that as a backup is that I am a werewolf - no idea how you feel about an added factor, but feel like I have to at least remind you in case it's a really unwanted complication. I know things are weird enough here as it is.
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You haven't talked to your brother about it, yet? Is he going to shit a brick?
What would that mean for the kid, exactly? I mean, I don't know how all of that stuff works for you and whatnot. I don't think we've ever talked about it.
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Not yet, no, but I don't think he'll shit a brick just be surprised, I think. I lean on him a lot as my beta but there are some things that I guess I just am a little more hesitant to share with him and talk about on occasion.
I don't think we have either. It'd mean that growing up the kid would need to learn to control themselves during the moon and to be sure that they can keep their anger in check. Better speed, strength, senses - that sort of thing - to just do a quick rundown. My particular family line has the ability to shift completely into a wolf too which would be down the line, but you did ask.
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...how would I be able to help them with that? CAN I help them with that...?
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You can - we have some exercises and things to practice - plus raising a kid in an emotionally healthy way goes a long way. And for all of the things we have to practice to be sure we're in control we never get sick and we have healing abilities.
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I meant would it be safe for me to help them with that? What do you mean you never get sick and have healing abilities? How do you not get sick? Are you being hyperbolic?
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More than likely yes, it depends on what works for the werewolf when we get there, of course. My mom started that work with me really early and I think if we did the same, in theory, that control would come quickly. And I'm not being hyperbolic - we can't get sick because our healing is too quick for it to set in, just like most cuts bruises and that sort of thing. Can't get drunk or high either because of it mixed with our metabolism but it's a fair trade-off in general.
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...you literally heal too fast to get sick... That's IDEAL, Laura, are you kidding me right now??
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I'm not kidding you - I never know how people are really going to feel about what I am for sure, you know? But it is sort of ideal you'd never have to worry about an unhealthy kid.
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You do realize that I'm a huge germophobe and I think it'd be accurate to call me a hypochondriac. Not having to worry about that sort of thing would be fucking incredible, I gotta be honest. Must be nice!
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And here I thought you'd made some headway in that department. You'd never have to worry about that with a werewolf kid, just all of the other things, but like I said we can help with that. We're kinda in this boat together already headed down this road anyway - I'm sure there will be other things that'll come up where we lean on one another too. Consider this an official offer to help you with at least the egg, though.
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Really? You'd do that? Laura, that's...thank you so much.
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That's the fucking least I could do because I can tell you right now, getting egg donations is way the fuck more expensive than sperm donations, so I owe you big for that offer.
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Oh but uh don't feel like you'd be obligated to take me up on it or anything. I don't know what you're looking for in a donor, and it wouldn't hurt my feelings if I didn't fit the criteria, or whatever, okay?
I don't know if that needed to be said but peace of mind and all.
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So it's a kind offer and I'm already pretty seriously considering it, no second-guessing or reassurances on being turned down needed. And, yeah, I am an above and beyond kinda gal.
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It also strikes me that there's another option here that we could consider. It's expensive either way and we're doing this alongside one another support system style anyway. But given both of our generous offers, we could also look at the option of doing this as co-parents given I'm going to need to be around to help you with a werewolf kid, and I'm sure I'd come up with some question along the way for you that I forget in the beginning of the process.
Just food for thought, though.
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You know, someday if you find the right person to marry, you're going to make a really fucking lucky man or woman out of them, you know that? You're kind of amazing and I count myself pretty fucking fortunate to be able to call you my friend, Laura. Thank you. A million times, thank you.
How do you mean as co-parents? I don't think I follow, I thought that was kind of the idea, like...you'd help me with the werewolf parts, I can answer any questions you might have along the way (although, I think your genes are going to trump any bumps in the road mine would bring, with that healing thing), and our kids kinda grow up together and we lean on each other as needed since we'd be going through the process at the same time. No? I feel like I'm missing something?
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And stop you're going to make me blush over here. That's really sweet, Eddie - don't know what's in the cards for me but I appreciate that. You're none too fucking happy when it comes to friendship yourself, you know? So thank you too because all of this - talking this out with you - has been a pretty fucking big help.
I mean that instead of two kids we share one - it'd solve you finding a surrogate or gestational carrier, you definitely wouldn't be dealing with having to find one or a stranger, and it keeps the same support system that we were already planning on having, basically. We'd have someone each to parent with/alongside if we considered this option and we'd split time, which isn't too hard considering we literally live in the same apartment building etc. Again - it's just laying an option out there, but it could work in theory.
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